Almost 22

Before you read this post- this entry is a little different in that it is a little deeper from my usual musings, so you have been forewarned :)

Anyways..

I'm going to be turning 22 in a couple of months time, and this number has got me to reflect on several aspects of my life.

Why is it so significant? To be honest, the number itself isn't very significant- rather, the fact that I am standing here at almost 22 years of age, and feeling a million light years away from where I want to be in life. Yes.. we are going down that avenue.

Now, I do thank God for all the things/people I have in my life- admittedly probably not as much as I should, which I'm working on- but even I can't block out the fact that lately I haven't been making much of an effort in many areas of my life. This, of course, has left me in limbo, and right now the scariest thing about it is that I seem have lost my sense of direction in life (insert emo vibe here [check]). 

To put it into perspective, I recently graduated from university with a Scientific degree, and up until this point I had it all mapped out. The interesting thing about life, though, is that it doesn't always work out the way you planned. It's to be expected- everyone goes through hardships and setbacks, and I always say to myself, "When the time is right, things will fall into place."

This does not, however, absolve me of personal responsibility... and that is something I really need to work on. Not tomorrow... not later.. but right now. I need to take responsibility for myself and focus really hard to move closer to my goals in life (inshaAllah). Of course, I'm not 100% certain of where life will take me, but who in this world ever is? I've witnessed so many lives change in the blink of an eye lately, and I no longer want to take whatever precious time I have in this world for granted. 

And then tonight of all nights, I finally had that moment. I wouldn't go as far as to say it was an epiphany, but whatever it was, I can honestly say I've never felt such conviction before. It really made me think about where I am in my life at the moment, so from this moment on, I want to better myself as a person and to work hard in changing my current circumstances (inshaAllah). I want to finally get around to making those important decisions that will move me closer to my goals. 

Whatever happens though, I'm sure that from this moment on, I'm going to do my best to make every second worthwhile. 

I will end with my favourite latin quote- *Ad astra per aspera * ~To the stars, through difficulty~

:)